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Blame it on the Ovaries

29 May, 2010

(I apologize for the gap in posts- I recently got a summer job in the next town over. I don’t mind the 10-mile bike ride everyday; it just leaves me really tired by the time I get home, and I haven’t had the energy to put together a coherent post. Also, this one took me a good three days to put together.)

Today, I bring you something that I blame entirely on my ovaries- kid’s crafts. No, not finger painting and pipe cleaner people, though I will admit, those were some of my favourites in preschool.

Alright, I can’t blame this post entirely on my ovaries. That would be unfair. No, this is partly due to the fact that I recently finished my final research/opinion paper for World Civilizations II, on “The History of Childhood Through Fashion”, which followed fashion trends and their relationship to the prevailing cultural, religious and political views from the 1700’s to present day. This paper topped out at 12 pages, and the process of writing it was remarkably similar to reading Nabakov’s Lolita. In fact, it was almost exactly like reading Nabakov’s Lolita. There were several times that I had to save my paper and walk away from it for several hours, just out of sheer outrage at what our society deems “appropriate clothing” for children. A small excerpt is below:

“This is from the nationwide chain store Abercrombie&Fitch’s children’s collection, which sells clothing for children ages 7-14. This is from their – and I emphasize this- children’s line, which came out in the summer of 2002:

Yes, dear reader, this is a thong. This is a thong sized for a 7-year-old girl. If that’s not disturbing enough, look closer. That little green tag in the top right? That says, “Wink wink”.
That little red heart in the bottom? “Eye Candy”.
Excuse me? Labeling a 7-year-old’s groin as “eye candy”? I was under the impression that that sort of thinking is what got a person their own page in the Sex Offender Registry. Apparently, I was mistaken”

Also included in this paper were push-up bikinis for 7-14 year olds, push up bras for 9 year olds, children’s pole-dancing kits, and children’s lingerie sporting the slogan, “Why should adults have all the fun?”.

I fear for the future of children’s fashions, I really do. I fear for the future’s children in general. So, with this post, I like to feel that I’m doing my part to combat the “prostitot” phenomenon that’s been taking hold of the world.

Sparing you from what could easily become a long, drawn out, opinionated rant, I present: free patterns and project ideas for children’s clothing, toys, accessories and even some cool stuff for moms.

Children’s Clothes

Fact of life: Kids grow really, really quickly. Faster, sometimes, than a family can afford. Here are some easy ways to expand your children’s wardrobes without shrinking your bank account.

Infants:

Touching Little Lives’ Newborn Sleeper (fits up to 8 lbs) and Preemie Sleeper (fits 4-6 lbs)

NICU Preemie Hospital Vests from ReeseDixon.com

3-Seam Baby Booties from PooPockets.com (Oh my goodness, these things are adorable!)

Free Patterns for Infant’s Clothing up through the first year

Cloth Diapers! from VeryBaby.com. This site includes basic cloth diaper and diaper cover patterns for free, as well as tips and tutorials for making a variety of different styles.

Comfy, quick and easy baby pants from BalancingEverything.com (I really love her blog.)

Quick and Easy Infant Romper from a T-shirt via Craftster.org

Toddlers, Preschoolers, and Young Children

Market Skirt from Dana-Made-It.com. While you’re at it, check out the Tutorial page over there, she’s got some great kids clothing ideas and easy-to-follow tutorials, like this one on making Puffed Sleeves.

Disney over at RufflesandStuff.com has some fantastic ideas for lengthening the life of kids clothes, while still keeping them fashionable. Check out her posts: Making Her Clothes Last, Part One, and Making Her Clothes Last, Part Two.

Pillow-Case Dress from EverythingSewing.net

Twirly Skirt Variations from Corn Patch Creations and Going Sew Crazy

Tiered Skirt from KukyIdeas.com

Girl’s Dress from Men’s Dress Shirt (I know I’ve meantioned this one before, but it is absolutely adorable. Forgive me.) from Gezellig-Girl.com

Tunic Dress from a T-Shirt from Quilting In Cornfields

Children’s Toys

Personally, I’m not one for all the new wave of electronic games and toys for kids- I think it’s really destroying kids’ natural abilities to imagine. It’s becoming too much of a hassle to imagine the sound of a toy truck when for $XX.95, you can get one with lights, sounds, and a remote control. Why try to imagine, when they make so many video games that do all the work for you? I think kids are too dependant on electronics, televisions, and video games for their entertainment, and don’t know the power of their own imaginations any more. Again, saving you what could easily become long, drawn out, and highly opinionated, here are some easy to make toys for kids.

Plush Doll Pattern and Tutorial – a great beginning for making personalised kid’s dolls! (And for gamer’s kids, they have an adorable Moogle pattern as well)

How many little girls didn’t want to be a ballerina at some point, even if just for a short while? GoPhotography.com has a great no-sew tutorial for making a tutu out of elastic and toule. Check it out!

And who, boy or girl, didn’t want to be a superhero? Come on! PukingPastilles.com has some great ideas for SuperKid capes (the pattern isn’t free, sorry, but it’s pretty close to it- $3.99 USD. Or you could make your own.)

Okay, I’m 21 years old, and I want one of these things! Who wouldn’t want an 8-foot-tall giant squid body pillow?! Thank you, Philadelphia Weekly!

Again, 21. Still intrigued by these grab-ball things. (Courtesy of Debbie Colgrove at About.com)

Did I mention how I love BalancingEverything.com? She’s got some great craft ideas over there, like these Waldorf-esque Felt Crowns or the Roll-up Kitchen Placemat (Brilliant!)

BlissfullyDomestic.com has a great solution to that ever-famous question that has nagged parents since the invention of travel: Are we there yet? (Answer: I-Spy Bags!)

How about home made scratch-off tickets using silver acrylic paint?

Children’s Accessories

Any parent can attest that kids come with things. Stuff. It’s all over the house. Aside from clothes and toys, there’s bibs, diaper bags, blankies, burp clothes, lunchboxes, piggy banks, towels, car seats, carriers, cribs… *gasp* you get the picture.

Bill and Weeks from over at Craftnectar.com have a great solution to the “antsies”- those restless, “sensory-seeking” muscles that send kids running around, kicking things, squirming in seats. They’ve created .pdf instructions for creating weighted quilts for sensory seeking kids and adults, using weighted poly pellets.

Kristena Derrick at ThimblyThings.com has an excellent solution to buying expensive plastic bibs or cheap, effectively one-time-use bibs- use that one pair of maternity jeans that you cannot stand (or, inversely, that one pair of regular jeans you KNOW you’re never going to fit into again) and turn them into easy to clean, durably and fashionable baby bibs! ReeseDixon.com has a gread tutorial, too, for homemade burp-cloths, and for preemie baby beanbags (a great little invention for those special little ones who unfortunately came a little too early- check out her site for more info on these.

Oh look, it’s BalancingEverything.com again. Tell me you didn’t see this coming. She has some great ideas for turning old, outgrown or stained kids jeans into a child’s wallet, or for making a lap-desk for colouring or homework.

For the environmentally-conscious mom or dad with a school-aged kid, why not brown-bag it with style with Chica and Jo’s fused plastic sandwich wraps (puts those plastic shopping bags to good use!), easy shopping-bag based lunch sacks from Supamb.com/supafine, or an embroidered cotton lunch bag from Purlbee.com?

I’m drawn to the simplest of things. I really want one of these hooded bath towels (from MakeandTakes.com) in my size. (Purlbee.com has a variation for the littler ones too!) And to go with those awesome bath-wraps, how about some homemade Snow-Globe Soap from AlphaMom.com or some natural hand-sanitizer from PepperPaints.com

For the bedroom, Dana-Made-It.com has a great tutorial for making your own crib and tot bed sheets, and About.com of all places has a tutorial for making your own crib dust ruffle, to add a little extra storage space to your child’s room.

Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! (Dude, it’s a holiday entirely dedicated to playing dress up! Come on!) Old Fashioned Living has some great ideas for making easy animal costumes for kids.

Stuff For Moms

Gotta give props to Moms. ❤ I love you, Mom.

TinyBirdOrganics.com has a great tutorial and some really helpful tips for moms who want to switch over from expensive disposable menstrual pads and tampons to washable, cotton cloth pads, whether to save money or the environment.

Ever hear of a Moby wrap? I hadn’t, but when I saw this faux Moby Wrap tutorial over at, you guessed it, BalancingEverything.com, I thought they were just the coolest things ever! (Totally serious about that, I want one for when I have kids.) Edit: One of the professors here at school has one. Still the coolest things ever.

Speaking of baby carriers, how about this Mei-Tai carrier pattern and tutorial from WabiSabiBaby.com- The pattern is free and basic instructions are available on the webpage- the special notions such as buckles and comfy straps can be bought from WabiSabiBaby.com for  $18, or salvaged from an unused backpack. (If you’re feeling really adventurous, you can try to make the straps with fabric and camp foam, but I take no responsibility for your sewing machine’s reaction to camp foam.)

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3 comments

  1. uhm, yes that is disturbing and I like that you have… uh… stuff that isn’t that too make.
    this is unrelated, and I might have already given you this link;— http://www.burdastyle.com some of the pattens are free– of course you have to print them.


    –Millie–


    • I love BurdaStyle.com- I’m actually working on a few of their things right now for my Neo-Victorian set.


  2. i like to buy children toys that are educational too, in this way, your kids can learn by playing .-.



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